I've Got Dry

I feel like I've got emotionally dry over the past however many years.

Real-life events (by which I mean things I experience that are not great pieces of art) very rarely move me.

The most recent one that actually did is the news of an accident at Haneda airport where 5 people on a Japan Coast Guard plane died.

I had never been emontionally damaged by media coverage of any accident or natural disaster, so it was the very first time I got mentally destroyed by a situation where it's reasonable to assume someone who's never been in any kind of contact with me must have experienced extreme pain.

Any further exploration for such an event takes me all the way back to Verstappen's first F1 title win in 2021.

I feel dry and I am in mild pain because of it.

But I know that a way of existence where I keep having my emotions swayed in a negative way is much worse than this.

Ther fact that I am not in a hospital bed after a traffic accident is good in a way that doesn't allow me to enjoy its goodness directly.

It's way better to be sad about not experiencing a solid amount of emotions after meeting/seeing and talking to people, than hating the existence of the world in a bed.

I guess that's how I cope with this sadness.

I still miss what I miss, though.